I remember, when I was younger, I could not stand vulnerability. I felt that any display of vulnerability was a display of weakness. And what could be more pitiful than being weak, having to rely on other people, which also put you in a position where you could get rejected. And surely, what could be more pathetic than being rejected - that would mean someone confirming that you were in fact worthless. What could be more repelling than letting other people see how fragile we really are. That yes, we are human. That we all are so very far from perfection, that even being obsessed with how to reach it, is a waste of time in itself.
We are human beings in freckled, lined skin, walking in weakness, constant temptation and with tongues sharper than razor blades that slit through skin like porcelain.
And yet, we will often pretend we know not how many people we wound on our way to the top; in our despair to feel better about ourselves - how many times have we said something hurtful of others.
How many times, have we felt better, when others bled from the cuts of life.
How many times have we indirectly added to isolation through promoting an image of perfection via social media - disconnected from human touch, yet always posing, pretending.... covering all bridges between us, letting no one in to see who we truly are.
Not letting anyone love us in spite of us.
We can talk about all the self-development and biochemistry balancing theory in the world, but fact is, that if we disconnect from our heart, we will never heal.
Ad Rosam Per Crucem.
Meaning: the way out of our suffering goes through our heart.
There is a reason why we are stuck in suffering and pain.
And no, it is not because we are victims of bad luck, lack willpower or didn't have the right parents or whatever else we like to blame it on. No. The most important thing in this life is to develop character, and until we learn the lessons that we are here to learn from the obstacles we are presented with, they will keep repeating themselves, until we let go and let God. Until we are willing to open up our heart and embrace the change from within.
Our heart governs so many biochemical processes.
Even weight-loss, which we may not associate with emotional health, is indeed closely tied to our heart center. Cortisol and stress hormones are regulated by your heart - hormones involved in the capability to activate metabolism and fat-burn.
Could it perhaps be time for us to reconnect with what really matters within, rather than turn to another external diet dogma quick-fix this bikini-season, slowly starving our soul hunger to fit into those skinny jeans.
You could let go of the self-hatred, of all your reasons why you can't do it, make it, are worth it etc. What if you could feel alive in every cell of your body, feeling vibrant, happy, beautiful and strong. What if you could run so fast along the sand while the whitewash splashes against your naked skin, the sun gently caressing your back... in this moment you are alive.
What if you could let go of control and suffering to embrace acceptance where you are at right now. That you are in fact, totally OK as you are in this skin, in this moment. What if you could love others and expect nothing back. What if you could save someone who needed it. Wouldn't that be worth it? Choosing another way, choosing to let go of the external measures of which you constantly drown yourself in, hoping for a savior. What if you could step out of the prison you have created yourself.
What if you could let go of your own desires, needs and vanity. Let go of all that attachment and neediness. Just let go - because it no longer serves you. In fact, it never did.
When we take that step back to reconnecting with our heart - a profound healing takes place physically and emotionally. The more pain we are in, the more we need to ask ourselves, is it time to change our ways of thinking - is it time to live life through our heart and not let our manipulative and often instant-gratification driven minds control us into self-destruction.